Reach Out for Help

At the beginning of the year I felt God was directing me to get some help in a few different areas in my including business and also some personal issues I felt I need to work on. So that’s what I did and I can say although I have not arrived and EVERYTHING is not ALL better, I have made quite a lot of progress and things have started to really turn in a good direction.
I feel like I have more things going for me now than perhaps ever. There have been many developments in my life personally, in business, and even relationaly. I have made some very good connections, especially one particular new friend who I may tell you about later.

In my book, “Keys To Massive Breakthrough”, one of the Keys to Breakthrough I talk about is “reaching out for help”. Sometimes we just need some help from others. In the book of Genesis, God said, “It is not good that man should dwell alone.” We need people and God made us that way.

God is really teaching me to learn to trust other people and not rely on myself so much…

Below is the entire Chapter 8 text from my book Keys To Massive Breakthrough

(available at  Amazon.com)

Chapter 8: Reach Out for Help

Where there is no counsel, the people fall;
But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

(Proverbs 11:1)

At the age of 18, shortly before my high school graduation, my father and my stepmother separated and later divorced. My father moved out of the house we lived in, and I went to stay with my uncle. I was basically on my own from the time I graduated high school. My father went off somewhere, and I only occasionally saw him after that point. It was that way for the rest of my life.

So I was young with little to no guidance. The only real role model I had was my youth leader, who eventually became my pastor. For many years, I reached out to him when I didn’t know what to do. I owe him a great debt for the time and even some money he invested in me. Whenever I had a problem, I knew I could go to him and he would always take time to help me. If it wasn’t for him, I’m not sure where I would be today.

There were more occasions than I can count when I had a problem and didn’t know what to do. I would continue to have the problem until I reached out to my pastor. After I spoke with him, the problem was often resolved and things became better.

One example is when I was struggling financially and wasn’t able to support myself for a temporary period. I told him about what was going on, and he opened his home to me and allowed me to stay with his family for a few months. He taught me how to better manage my money and save enough so I could pay all my bills. Eventually I moved out and got my own place, and generally things went better for me. There are so many more examples I could give. When I needed help, I reached out for help and breakthrough came.

In 2004, I reached out to a Christian counselor who did inner healing, and God did an amazing work in my heart. In 2011, I reached out to a Christian life coach who was a tremendous help for gaining clear direction for my life and a new vision. Over the years, I have reached out for help from many people and received so much more than I could ever repay. Instead of trying to pay it all back, I am paying it forward. This book is part of that. Because I reached out and got the help I needed, I am now able to be in a place where I can help others. Reaching out for help is a powerful key for breakthrough!

Reaching Out…Let Us Count the Ways:

God
This almost goes without saying, especially to a Christian, but nonetheless, God should always be the first one we reach out to. Jesus tells us that He will never leave us nor forsake us. The Bible also tells us that the Holy Spirit is our comforter and our healer and provider. God is our Father, and He loves us very, very much. The Bible says that a good father, when asked by his son for bread, will not give him a stone (Matthew 7:9). Whenever we need to talk to somebody, we can always talk to Jesus. The first and most powerful way to reach out is by reaching out to God.

Family and Friends
The second way to reach out is with your family and friends. As good as God is, we need “love with skin on it.” People need an actual human being that they can see, hear, and touch. You need someone whose eyes you can look into and someone whose voice you can hear audibly. You need someone whom you know loves you very much and whom you can trust with the deepest things in your heart. Family and close friends should be that kind of people; you should never hesitate to talk to the ones who know you best.

Pastors
As I explained in my story, reaching out to a pastor or minister can be very helpful. A true man of God knows the word of God and can help you to know what the Bible says concerning your situation. A minister can pray with you and for you. Prayer is very powerful (more on that in the next chapter). Furthermore, if he is a good pastor, then he should know you well unless you are new to the church.
Some churches are so big that the pastor cannot spend enough time with everyone. In those situations, it is good to be in a home group and talk to your home group leader. If that is not possible, then there are pastoral counselors who can speak with you. Some pastoral counselors are professional counselors, and some are just pastors who have made themselves available to the community as a lending ear.

Professional Counselors
Counselors have been educated and trained to listen and give constructive feedback. A professional counselor is able to determine what kind of problem exists, what kind of treatment would be most effective, and whether he or she can help you or if you would be better off if you were referred to someone else. Counselors come in different varieties, and it is helpful to be able to describe your problem clearly so the counselor can help you as best as possible. Professional counselors oftentimes are the best solution when you have tried everything else.

Life and Business Coaches

(I have modified this section, adding  business coaching as well. If I were to do a 2nd edition of this book I would include business coaching)

Coaching has grown by leaps and bounds over the past 10 years or so. Life coaches are similar to counselors in that they meet clients for about an hour and meet anywhere from one to four times a month. Most life coaches have been through some kind of certification program, and they usually are very wise and skilled at helping people develop life strategies. Life (and business) coaches are very goal oriented, helping you to establish clear goals and then walking with you step by step as you set out to achieve those goals. Life coaches are ideal for a person who is not suffering from any major mental or emotional issues but merely needs guidance and direction.

Coaches are different from counselors in that counselors tend to focus more on past traumas and painful events, while life coaches are more present and future oriented. Most people can benefit from both at some point in their life. For a person with a past filled with abuse and trauma, it may be best to start with a professional counselor. Then when therapy has been successful, they can move on to a life coach.

I have been a recipient of counseling, life, and business coaching and have found them all to be beneficial. My counselors have helped me to heal emotionally, while my life coaches have helped me to develop a clear plan for my life. My business coaches have helped clarify my message, my brand, and target audience. I thank God for all the counselors and  coaches I have received from in my life!

Social Service Organizations
There is a huge variety of social service organizations that all offer help in some way to those that are struggling in any of the areas we have discussed. For example, for those struggling financially, there are food pantries and soup kitchens that give free food to the poor. For those struggling with a mental disorder or some form of addiction, there are support groups that offer encouragement through a community of other people dealing with a similar situation.

There are support groups for almost any kind of problem you can think of. From gambling, to pornography, to quitting smoking, to losing weight, there are support groups out there.
An entire book could be written about all the different types of community and social organizations that exist, but just know they are out there. Whatever your problem, there are organizations that specialize in your very issue. A great way to find these places is to search online, contact a social worker, or contact a pastor.

Reaching Out Requires Humility
The Bible says that he that humbles himself will be exalted. There are situations that you will not be able to overcome alone. I believe God often chooses to use others as the means for our restoration, healing, and breakthrough. It took two people to conceive you, and it will take six people to bury you. From birth to death, we need people. During our 75 years or so of life, we will need help from other people time and time again.

If you struggle with asking for people’s help, then it is time to get free of pride and humble yourself. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of strength. There will be times when you feel alone, have tried everything, have prayed to God, and yet you still see no signs of improvement. In those situations, until you reach out for help, you may continue to feel confused, stagnated, and even hopeless.

Relevant Research:
Whether in person or on the phone, counseling is beneficial:
“…telephone counseling was beneficial and satisfactory, marked by specific improvement on the issue that led to counseling and global improvement in emotional state. Of the 186 respondents, 68 percent reported feeling very or completely satisfied with the telephone counseling and 53 percent said they felt somewhat better as a result of counseling.”1

HOW TO REACH OUT FOR HELP

Acknowledge You Have a Problem

Acknowledge that you have been unsuccessful in overcoming your problem on your own. Denial is not a river in Africa. Nobody can help you until you admit you have a problem. If you want a breakthrough, then you have to be willing to confront your “demons.” It’s okay to not be perfect. You are not perfect before you get your breakthrough, and you will not be perfect after you get your breakthrough, but the main thing is you get your breakthrough! The past is gone, and the only way you can stop repeating the past is to deal with those deep and painful issues. Sometimes people just need some direction, but even then you have to admit that you are confused and in need of direction.

Confess Your Problem to God and Your Spouse or Best Friend
The Bible says a three-fold cord is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12) and that where two or three are gathered in is his name He is there (Matthew 18:20). When God and your spouse and/or best friend are involved, you have a great chance for breakthrough! Furthermore, everyone needs “love with skin on it.”

Don’t Be Afraid To Reach out to a Pastor and/or a Counselor
Every person and every situation is different. At this point, you can ask God and your spouse/best friend what kind of help they think you need. Once you decide to go for counseling, don’t procrastinate — make the appointment. If you and your spouse agree that it would be best for you to see a professional counselor, then pick up the phone and call. This is one of the hardest yet most transforming moments in the whole process. It is at this point that you have made a big step and are well on your way to your breakthrough!